CoolShit

Christmas candy canes flavored with actual ketchup. Red. Striped. Tomato-forward. A gift for someone you love but also want to deeply confuse.

A 4-inch hand-blown glass ornament of a black cat with bat wings and fangs. Hang it with the included string or stand it on a shelf. Works for Halloween trees too. Archie McPhee.

A miniature glowing replica of the leg lamp from A Christmas Story, with a fishnet stocking and fringed shade. Comes in a small box, not a crate marked FRAGILE, with a sticker book of movie scenes. Sold by Vat19.

An officially licensed Elf on the Shelf scout just under 4 inches tall, with posable arms and legs. Small enough to hide on a laptop, a mug, or a keyboard. Sold by Vat19.

A small ceramic saguaro cactus with 23 embedded multicolored lights (only the center trunk lights up), plus a tiny book of odd holiday traditions. One CR2032 battery included. Sold by Vat19.

A Gizmo figurine in a Santa hat, sitting in his box trimmed with Christmas lights. Press the button and he sings his theme. Comes with a card listing the three Mogwai rules. Sold by Vat19.

A 2.25-liter (76 oz) refillable stocking-shaped drink bag in BPA-free plastic, with a spout at the toe and a hanging clip. Holds about three bottles of wine. Hand wash. Sold by Vat19.

A knitted ugly-Christmas-sweater sleeve for a wine bottle, with built-in lights and three flashing modes. Designs vary (Jingle Juice and others). Sold by Vat19.

A desk-sized inflatable Santa that pops up when plugged in by USB-C, with a quiet mode for shared offices and a high-speed mode for maximum puff. Sold by Vat19.

Small squeezable rubber chickens dressed as Christmas icons (Santa, snowman, reindeer, tree, gingerbread). They hang on the tree and scream when squeezed. Sold randomly, one style per order. Sold by Vat19.

A 3 oz resealable bag of pink cherry-flavored cotton candy, packaged as Santa's reindeer exhaust. The maker donates 10% of profits to children's charities. Sold by Vat19.

A set of three 2-inch glass ornaments with portraits of Albert Camus, Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre. Each has a bleak quote on the back. Includes hanging string. Archie McPhee.

A box of six 5.25-inch candy canes, gravy flavored, with brown and white stripes. Archie McPhee's savory candy-cane line, which also includes pickle, ketchup and chicken soup.

A 6-foot string of ten 2.75-inch rain-frog lights with warm white LEDs. Runs on two AA batteries (not included). Indoor use. Small parts; not for children under 3. Archie McPhee.

Two 3-inch hand-blown glass ornaments, one red and one green. From the front they look like ordinary baubles; from the back they are a pair of buttocks. Each has a tiny bell and a hanging string. Archie McPhee.

Six dill-pickle flavoured candy canes, green and white, 5-1/4 inches tall, in a box illustrated with a Santa-hat pickle. Archie McPhee, $9.50. The Christmas-pickle joke in a form you can hang or eat.

A box of six candy canes, 5-1/4 inches tall, striped yellow and white, flavoured like chicken soup. From Archie McPhee, the same house as the ketchup candy canes already in this catalog. Net weight 3.8 ounces.

A 6-foot indoor string of ten warm-white LEDs, each bulb a green pickle. Runs on two AA batteries, which are not included. New for the season at Archie McPhee, and the Christmas version of a joke the catalog already tells with yodeling pickles.

A string of fairy lights where each bulb is shaped like a little pink shrimp. Warm white LED. Ambiance. Crustacean energy. Works indoors and out.